Is Praise Sabotaging Your Childs Skill?

Is Praise Sabotaging Your Childs Skill?

Hi Friend,

If you’ve watched professional sports you know its extremely rare a coach will give constant and continuous praise to his players. His purpose is to motivate, inspire, set clear goals and give constructive criticism so each player performs at the top of their game.

I’ve found, youngsters who struggle in sports regularly receive praise for their actions when it’s not deserved. This weekend was a perfect example.

Imagine you were sitting comfortably in a chair on a beautiful soccer field. Two high quality teams were poised and ready to square off for the Championship.

The whistle blows and the ball is played to the sideline. Player one is standing all alone and clumsily slides to her right to receive the ball. The ball bounces off her foot and out of bounds. A completely unforced mistake.

Immediately a group of parents chant over and over, “Good job!”

Almost instantly the opposing team sprints to the sideline, grabs the ball, and throws it in. Within seconds the field is reversed and Player 2 is attacking the goal. She mesmerizes defenders with her footwork. Just when the defender thinks she has the ball, Player 1 performs the “Matthews” and accelerates by the defender. She perfectly places the ball and cracks a shot far post.

GOOOOOAAAALLL!!!!

Her teammates surround her at midfield, patting her on the back. Parents shout “YEEEAAAHHH” as they jump up and down on the sideline. Coaches give her the thumbs up and say “Great job, get back in there and do it again.”

What happened to Player 1?

She lowered her head and slowly walked back to midfield. It looked like she was trying to make herself invisible. During the rest of the game Player 1 made mistake after mistake. And each time she blundered, parents and coaches showered her with comments of “Way to go!”, "You're doing great."

I'm sorry, but it's not OK. She wasn't doing GREAT! Not at this level or any other level. And you could see deep inside Player 1 knew she didn’t deserve the praise. So each time she made a mistake her confidence plummeted further and further.

Unfortunately the norm today is to praise kids even when they suck. It’s as if parents and coaches are teaching from a manual titled, “Just Show Up and We’ll Tell You You Did Great”.

Don’t get me wrong… when I train and coach, I give credit where credit is due.

But, I also am the first one to point out when a mistake is made and how to correct it.

Accomplishing great things on the soccer field has more to do with dedication, discipline, and devotion than it does with praise. Praise is not the end all be all when it comes to elevating your game to the next level.

If you want your youngster to learn from their mistakes and become a better soccer player, and this is the key – she absolutely has to develop the “Mistake Maker, Mistake Breaker” mindset.

With this mindset she’ll have the ‘Difference Maker’. Learning and growing from every experience will become her foundation. Frustration, mediocrity, and failure become the launching pad to scoring more goals and improved performance.

Want your child to exude confidence, mesmerize defenders with her dribbling skills and score amazing goals?

Sprint to your phone and grab one of the last 4 memberships left in my 6 week training course. Get the training that shows your kid how to become a Mistake Breaker! (909) 610-0793.

Keep practicing,

Nolan R. Berentis

Sensei

PS If you want your soccer skills to drastically improve you must get a coach that trains at a whole new energy level. I didn’t go from AYSO scrub to college starter by hanging out with aches who gave me unnecessary praise.

Reserve your membership TODAY! nberentis@gmail.com